The following is a guest post by Alison Fabricius, one of my good friends.
I started watching a show recently (please don't judge) Arrow on CW. For those
familiar with The Green Arrow comics, the show is totally different. There may
be a character named Oliver Queen in both of them who just happens to be a mean
shot with a bow, but there the similarities end. In the TV version, Felicity is
part of team Arrow, and for two seasons, she watches Oliver fall for almost every
woman who walks into his path, whether District Attorney, millionairess, CEO,
evil huntress or freaky stalker chick. Finally, after two years, while she's
hurting as he wanders, he realizes she is what he wanted all along. On
their first official date, a mean, nasty bad guy comes along and blows up the
restaurant where they are eating, and in that moment, Oliver Queen makes the
choice for Felicity: he says it isn't worth the risk of endangering her for
them to date, and even while saying 'I love you', he says good-bye.
❤ : Ari
|A still from Arrow. |
Watching that moment, I cried for Felicity. The man she's loved for years
finally chose her, only to leave. I think I have a little idea about the
waiting part, at least. I've been dating a young man for a few years now. He was
there when I opened my call and he told me Cambodia was just the place for me.
He was there when I came home and we decided this was something we wanted for
keeps, and now I wear his ring on my finger, symbolizing "meant for
eternity." So imagine how I feel when people tell me he is simply a
phase, that I'll wake up one morning and just know that I've learned everything
I was supposed to from the relationship and now it's time to leave. You know, I
don't think too many brides-to-be usually hear that. Usually it's "when
are you guys getting married?"
Apparently, my fiancee and I passed that
stage a while ago, a year ago, for that matter. Yep, I've been engaged for over
a year. There have been times when I've questioned whether this young man
really was for me. Yet, every time I wonder that, I'm reminded of the night three
years ago when Heavenly Father told me this young man is the one for me. And I
remember the eve of entering the MTC when Heavenly Father made me
a special little promise, a promise for the eternities. Yet, even after I share
that special moment with very carefully picked, special people, they still ask
why I stick around.
Many people wonder how I can be so patient and wait "so long" to get
married. Mind you, an engagement in the world can be much longer than I've
waited, but they usually don't get young men in their Institute class saying
"well, in my church I was taught to have a short engagement"--if we're
both in Institute, I'd guess we're both going to the same church. And yes, I
know the church encourages short engagements and this isn't a diatribe against
that. This is a request. Heavenly Father has a specific and individual plan for
each of us. We don't always know where it will take us, but if it is with Him,
we'll always end up in a good place.
A couple years ago, I met an amazing young man who others termed as "one
who had a past," whatever that means. We all have pasts--every saint has a
past and every sinner a future, or so I've long believed. As we got to know
each other, I found out he did have some struggles, some addictions behind and
others on their way out. Yet, the more I got to know him, the more I saw his kind
heart, his tenderness to kids, and his goals for the future. The more we talked, the more I liked. He is my first boyfriend, the first man to say I love you, and
my first kiss. I can't begin to describe to anyone else how I feel about him,
other than that I love him.
Yet, this journey since I got home hasn't been easy, watching many peers get
married and start having kids. People would ask, "If you have a man why
don't you have the date?" I had reasons and excuses, because for all the things
he was still working through--social anxiety and depression, just to name two--I
was working through a whole world as well.
For all the bitter tears on my pillow and in the shower, I wouldn't change the
last two years for anything. I have learned things and grown in ways I never
thought possible. As Heavenly Father promised, I have needed faith to move
mountains and split seas, and EVERY mountain has been worth it.
We as human beings have this unique way of seeing a tiny bit of what someone
else is experiencing and passing judgement and giving advice. For all of you
who are dating that "someone with a past," you go girl (or boy, as the
case may be). You keep trusting Heavenly Father, because He'll take you to what
your heart desires, and for everyone else, stay out. This journey is hard enough
without anyone saying you're going to fail. Be kind, simply ask how you can be
supportive in our time of waiting.
I don't want a Felicity Smoak relationship, to
simply move to the next man when the first one says goodbye and I love you. If
I did, I would have been gone long ago. My fiancee has tried to warn me off a
couple times, but I knew we had something and it was worth it, and for every
warning he gave, he took each of those offers back. I know that the two of us have a power
to change the world that we don't have separately. We have a love that stops Satan's
minions in their tracks, and that is something worthwhile. Just like we all root
for Felicity to eventually end up with Oliver or Kitty Pryde to end up with her
man, please root for relationships to last, not to end.
Alison is a born and raised native of Cache Valley, Utah who loves the beauty of the mountains and staying up late to write history papers. She's traveled around the world, both physically and metaphorically, and says she's learned one thing: Heavenly Father makes a very reliable traveling companion.
Labels: beliefs, guest writer, relationships